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11/11/03--13:26: Tuesday, November 11, 2003 (chan 2016386)

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
       -Harvey Fierstein


11/09/06--13:21: Declaration (chan 2016386)

I haven't written a real entry in almost six months, but I feel like now is a good time.

I'm doing terrible in school, I'm poor as hell, I live paycheck to paycheck, I'm in a heap of trouble, but I can honestly say I've never been happier. I have the most supportive parents in this entire world. No matter how bad I fuck up, which is pretty bad lately, they're always there to help me out. I'd be lost without them. I have an amazing roommate who is cool with the fact that I can never make rent on time. I have made friends with some of the best people, and the people from home who still matter are there.

I should probably move back home and transfer to SPC so I'm not killing myself to get by, but I'm not going to. My heart is here in Orlando. I know that my grades will improve because I want to graduate and move on with the rest of my life. I've proven already that I always somehow have enough money to live. Eventually I'll either make more money or get a better job and I won't have to worry so much. I'm paying for the mistakes I've made, but I'm glad I made them. I've learned that I'm not invincible and my actions do have consequences. I have a lot on my plate, but I feel like I'm taking it in stride and doing a good job of not getting overwhelmed.

Since moving away I've learned that I can support myself, I can put myself through college, and I don't need a boyfriend to validate any of it. I've realized that a boyfriend should not be a crutch. He should be someone to support me in every decision I make and help me out when I need it. At the end of my long days he should be there to listen to me complain for a little bit, and then kiss me and make me forget about all of it.

Well, I've finally found that. I'm in love with the most wonderful person I've ever met. He's everything I ever wanted in a boyfriend and so much more. Even with everything that's going wrong in my life, I wake up every day next to someone that would give up their life for me and do anything for me. I'm treated better than I could have imagined, and better than I thought I deserved.When everything else is shit I know that atleast I've found the person I'm meant to be with, and that is true happiness.

Basically, I'm writing this to say that I'm truely thankful for the life that I have and I wouldn't change a thing.